He Shoots, He Scores (Soccer Version)

I’m tired today, so my attention span is non-existent. Thus, I’m drooling and reading soccer blogs. Which steered me to this:

Props to Hardcourt Bike Polo and Prolly is not Probably, by way of No More Onion Bags.


Irish Woe Means Huge Savings for You!

Let’s talk Notre Dame football. No, not because I’m a big football fan (I’m not, particularly), and not because they had a stellar season (they didn’t).

In fact, it’s worth talking ND football for precisely the opposite reason, since they had one of the worst seasons in their history. (And because it leads into the subject of this post, which you’ll see below.)

Consider their 2007 season:

  • Most losses in a single year (9)
  • Two of the ten worst losses ever (both 38-0 shellackings)
  • Losses to Army and Air Force in the same season for the first time since 1944 (when the services teams were all bulked up for the war effort)
  • Winless against the mid-majors

It was so bad that when ND was 1-7, Slate magazine ran an article, with some persuasive statistics, calling coach Charlie Weis “The Worst Football Coach in the Universe.”

  • “Of the 119 teams in Division I-A, ND is 119th in total offense, 119th in rushing offense, 112th in passing offense, and 118th in scoring.”
  • “Notre Dame is averaging 1.09 yards per rush this year … the worst rushing team recorded by the NCAA in the last nine years was still about one-third better than Notre Dame.”

Now, let’s say you’re the marketing director for Blue & Gold Traditions, which sells ND clothes and merchandise, and you’ve got to send out a catalog with ND jerseys, helmets, pajamas, key chains and baseball caps.

What to do? Here’s Blue & Gold’s answer:


“Irish Woe Creates Massive Overstocks … Leading to Huge Savings For You!”

Ouch. Even as an attempt to turn lemons into lemonade, that’s pathetic.