The other day we had an epiphany on our counter. Actually it took the form of a coffee stain, which took the form of a face:
Needless to say, we were thrilled. As you can clearly see, this is not just the image of a face, it’s some sort of religious icon. It is clearly not, as my heathen friends have argued, a reincarnation of Mr. Bill, the Stay-Puft Marshmallow Man, or the Were-Rabbit from the Wallace & Gromit movie.
No. It closely resembles the Jesus Pierogi (sold for $1,775 on eBay to a casino), or the Virgin Mary on a toasted cheese sandwich ($28,000 on eBay, also to a casino).
“We will definitely use the sandwich to raise money for charity, and we hope it will raise people’s spirits as well,” said Richard Rowe, the casino’s CEO. “We believe that everyone should be able to see it and learn of its mystical power for themselves.”
You see, if people believe my counter stain apparition is some sort of pop-culture icon, it won’t have the same revenue potential mystical power.
But enough of this time-wasting. If you’re a casino and want to make an offer, call me!