The Glass Is Half-Full, But Only if You’re Wearing Underwear

Part of my day job involves updating our company’s intranet home page, and I had a short announcement to post. I had a headline in mind, and thought the perfect thing to accompany the announcement would be a photo of a glass of water that was exactly half-full (you know, to allude to the old pessimist/optimist routine).

I had all the tools I needed to do my own: glass, water, digital camera, Photoshop. But it takes time and a place to shoot and all that. Besides, our company does a fair bit of design work for brochures and other publications, and we have a subscription to a stock photo collection for just such a purpose.

So I logged in, and there were photos of glasses of water:

water1

Not quite what I was looking for, so I kept searching.

water2

These are close, but a little too generous with the water. (And why do the ice cubes look like creatures from the X-Files?)

watermontage

You’ll find many a model in a state of Zolofted good cheer, and some exuding faux-sensuality, but I drilled, baby, drilled, and I couldn’t find a photo of a half-full glass of water.

In fact, you’d be hard pressed to find a single pessimistic image in a stock photo gallery, which is to say there are no half-full glasses. There are empty glasses, and there are full glasses, but there are no half-empty or mostly empty glasses (I suppose because that would be, like, a bummer).

water3

I did find this weird little dude, waiting patiently for the designer searching for a photo of a child executive with kidney problems and conjunctivitis.

Then I saw this next image:

water4

Not sure what I’m supposed to think about this one. “Nothing says refreshment like a pubescent boy in tighty whities”? Yeesh! I immediately logged off and went to go shoot my own photo.

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