I’ll Take a Whopper and Go Straight to Hell, Please

It’s not as if I went looking for evidence that Burger King is all sorts of skanky evil, but lo and behold, said skanky evil kept cropping up. First, I was looking at recently released report cards from climatecounts.org, which tracks prominent companies’ efforts to combat climate change. (This is a big deal, because as they note, “If the world’s 100 largest corporations reduced their greenhouse gas emissions by just 5%, it would be like taking 25,000,000 cars off the road.”)

Guess how Burger King did? On a 100-point scale they got zero.

ZERO.

So perhaps it’s not a surprise that I ran across another Burger King story, describing how one of Burger King’s vice presidents, Steven Grover, went onto a number of public websites and posted a bunch of snarky comments about … tomato pickers. When he was later discovered, Grover was apparently fired for his moronic efforts. (Here’s a summary from PR Junkie, a PR blog.)

But then, in a delicious twist,

The fast food giant also made the brilliant move of hiring a private investigative company with the warm and fuzzy name Diplomatic Tactical Services. The head of the company then posed as a student to infiltrate the tomato pickers group.

Of course Burger King has now fired the investigative agency, saying–get this!–that it violated the company’s code of ethics.

OK, hatin’ on the tomato pickers, and a corporate social responsibility strategy of “screw-it” is pretty bad. Then today Boing Boing ran this:

This is a tray liner from a Burger King in Amsterdam, Holland. Check out that poor onion:

The trayliner depicts the airport-style high security Burger King uses to ensure that only the top ingredients are used. Images include a scared Onion with his trousers down around his ankles while a fierce-looking Pickle guard with a latex glove, prepares to digitally examine him! Scattered about him from his open luggage are veggie porn mags!

Now, eating meat is pretty much an environmental disaster anyway, but holy emetic, Batman! Burger King has NO corporate responsibility, fraudulent VPs, hires nefarious shadow-companies to do corporate espionage, and advertises how it rectal-probes its produce? Umm … can we eat somewhere else?

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